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Category: Mentoring

Does Happiness or its opposite really exist?

People always ask me if I am happy  and I answer,  ‘Why not?’ Frankly I always thought it a strange question . I can almost see the frown and disbelief in your face. I always ask people why should such a question at all arise. We live in a relative world where the opposites reign supreme, and  where one exists to  prove the other. So I can say, I understand happy because it is the opposite of sadness and vice versa.  But the question I have to ask is whether either of them are the truth…so they exist in all time and in all situations. To my mind neither  of them exist, they are all a creation of our mind . We are aware that the mind operates on our desires , nay it is the monkey that creates these desires and happily sits back and watches the chaos it creates and the chain reaction of events it sets into motion. 


We are a species that requires a myriad of support systems that start at birth. The learning starts as soon as we are born although at this time it is mainly through the absorption of the surrounding.  Over time the constant repetition of what is right and what is wrong, through the guidance of the elders and the circumstances, and a system of reward and punishment meted out by the elders, teachers and well-wishers along with the teaching structure consisting of a vast number of institutions and the laws laid down,  make us walk on  the well-trodden road laid down by the past generations .The new and the young walk on and thus life creates the do’s and the don’ts that are further strengthened by both learning and experience and the reactions from the society that has been  following it for a long time with a few changes of and on.
Hence the development of the value systems that seem to change for every generation depending on the changing social systems, the requirements of the society that are dictated by the scientific revolutions and the constant fluctuation of the economic status and the everchanging shifting of the power nexus that go  in the making of the life of an individual , who is mainly driven by his  or her immediate environment that is essentially created by him by his or her thought processes, and the action and the reaction that go in the making  of each individual experience special and unique.
Having said that yet there are two aspects of life i.e. positive and negative. Learning and academics are constantly stressing on the positive and side tracking the negative. This constant focusing on the positive alone and teachings that are constantly stressing on the good and trying to raise man to walk on the higher path is not always successful. We need to know how the negative affects us and how it can be debilitating and degrade our very lives.


  Life is a tedious journey or not! After all it’s a matter of perception and our attitude and the courage of conviction, wit, a sense of confidence and enthusiasm. But this is not all! This not the end of the road.

To the lazy and the least bothered, who have no sense of responsibility and have no feeling of guilt, life is about a series of events, and they take life as it happens without feeling its burden and have no care…so one day all is fine and another day there is hell to pay followed by another upswing and so on. It’s a day to day existence and….. ‘Tomorrow is another day and we shall see when the sun rises’ …. ‘At least today has been taken care of’ …. And that is all that matters.

For some this is a matter of choice because they have good financial backing and little worries for tomorrow and someone to take care of them, at least up to a point and so well…’ let’s take full benefit of it and make hay while the sun shines ‘so to speak. For others it is due to circumstances which force them into such a life style and they get bogged down into its vicious circle.

But those that are born in a reasonably supportive environment things are different. Awareness of this fact is of utmost importance…. It’s all about being in the present and projecting it into the future to maintain a smooth functioning system.

This has to be imbibed at a very young age where the need for details are considered important, and breezing thru life like it was a joyride is definitely not an option. Of course to the young and the adult this spells of boredom and an unnecessary exercise in increasing unwanted burden and hence leads to a laidback attitude.



There is a distinct pattern in the way each individual lives his or her life. This is the consequence of many variables that go into the making of what we are at any particular time. In fact the variations are so great that it is no wonder that there are continuous dissensions and arguments that have ranged from passive confrontations which include dialogues that are either shouting matches or word fights to the extreme position of an out an out war.

While the whole situation may seem petty or even hilarious to a watcher, it’s no laughing matter for the parties concerned, they are very earnest in their arguments and each thinks he knows better and that the other is wrong. Each individuals lives by his or her  own set of codes, values and rules, some learnt voluntarily, others by following the lead and still others by force , or because there was no other alternative.

Above all is the individual ego, when one refuses to accept the wrong, and this escalates matters even further, sometimes to the point of ridiculousness and then comes the inevitable break in relations. Of course this creates a number of problems as one wants to be as far away from the problems that may occur if one were to come across such a person…the awkwardness, embarrassment, hostility, anger and a range of emotions that make the social atmosphere unpalatable, leading to tension and the spoiling of a good environment both internal and external,

Breakdowns will continue to occur as long as the mind is active and the emotions rule the day. Further our aspirations and the need to get what we want without due thought to others is bound to result in a difference in opinion.


The human being is an animal and is one in every respect …let there be no illusions about it. He has started so and will end so unless there is an evolutionary upheaval or the great leap forward takes place. Barring that there is only one road left and that is for man to take it upon himself to enhance and upgrade by putting in the effort on their own and thus progress to a better version than the present one.


There’s a definite change in the way children are brought up today. Being an educationist, I am often accosted by parents and asked for help and advice. The words often used are… “: my child doesn’t listen, or has no feeling of guilt…. Refuses to respond to my shoutings….is willful rude and arrogant….takes what is given for granted….has little value for what is given….is threatening me…..” and the like.

Now let’s go back a little to the previous generations and take a look at their reactions and what they have to say about such behavior.  One will often hear them say…” We didn’t behave this way…we respected our parents…never talked back or argued…touched their feet every day….were obedient and followed their lead…. took their advice …didn’t oppose or be belligerent and understood their wisdom…” and son and so forth.

Well both are facts that was and is the case respectively. Then what changed, what is different that has resulted in the total turnabout in the behavioral patterns and how is one to select the right pattern of bringing up children?