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Does Happiness or its opposite really exist?

People always ask me if I am happy  and I answer,  ‘Why not?’ Frankly I always thought it a strange question . I can almost see the frown and disbelief in your face. I always ask people why should such a question at all arise. We live in a relative world where the opposites reign supreme, and  where one exists to  prove the other. So I can say, I understand happy because it is the opposite of sadness and vice versa.  But the question I have to ask is whether either of them are the truth…so they exist in all time and in all situations. To my mind neither  of them exist, they are all a creation of our mind . We are aware that the mind operates on our desires , nay it is the monkey that creates these desires and happily sits back and watches the chaos it creates and the chain reaction of events it sets into motion. 

So how do we define happiness. Now this is sifting ground. What makes you happy dosen’t make me so and same goes for a lot of other things.Some may like the same thing but in different ways. So there are always going to be differences and these diferences will create all kinds of situations that will either make you sad or happy. But why do you become sad or happy . If you get what you desire then that makes you happy and if you don’t then that makes it sad. So both these emotions are situation related. Thus if I were to give you a  blueberry cake, much desired by you then you would be happy especially if it were your birthday. But if I had forgotten your birthday then that would make you sad. Now, if I give the same cake on another day, say the next day you may be some what less sad, but not too happy as I forgot your birthday. Now if I give the cake to you on a day you don’t particularly want it, you will accept it with grace because you are well mannered, but not particularly thrilled. On another occasion, when you had a strong urge for the cake and I present it to you you marvel at the coincidence or providence and are happy and in awe.

You know where I am going with this don’t you?….  and depending on your disposition you either like  it or reject it or are up in arms against it, or heartily agree with it. So both happy and sad are situation oriented, and that situation brings togeher your desire , your then mental state , your prefrences and relationship levels and not to forget your expectations and speculations. Yeah the last two are famous for creating huge upheavels positive or  negative.

Then we can safely say that happiness or sadness are but momentary and situation related and if at all they linger, it is more because of the tendency of the mind to repaly the tape again and again and enjoy the euphoria or the misery it creates. Further  it is best not to forget that the mind is a sadist and very good at creating doubt in your happiest of the moments and bringing you down a notch  and it may take you to extremes where it leads to death either due to extreme happiness or excessive depression caused due to  a miserable disposition.  This is where a psychologist or psychiatrist comes in to help you avoid this situation and it is an up hill task for them to go against the mind that is letting all hell let loose and eroding your will power and enhancing your mood swings and making excuses for all that is bad in your life.

The only way then to get out of this situation is to first suppress the mind and give your intellect power. The intellect operates on analysis and rationalism. it will find the best way to deal with any thing without letting your emotions running riot and tipping things off balance.

Maintaining balance is the key to making a proper decision and this is not possible unless you are rational.  However to attain rationalism requires  a lot of will power and the need to first negate the mind, and then actually crush it so that it dosent interfere again.  Giving power to the intellect means that you will be able to first control and then overcome your desires and rein in your emotionalism. Also being centered and not tipping either towards positive or negative will help one to be more objective.  Thus all this will result in clarity of thought.

Of course all this is a process unless you are a natural or born with these abilities , which of course  is a rarity though not totally absent. Thus whether happy or sad …ultimately both are relative, situational, subjective and prone to change quickly from one to the other as soon as one gets or dosen’t get what one desires. If one  becomes a watcher then it soon becomes clear that both are an illusion they don’t really exist and are merely a fiction of the mind . Once this is understood clearly there will definately be less emotionalism , paving the way for a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

Published inMentoring

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