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We are a species that requires a myriad of support systems that start at birth. The learning starts as soon as we are born although at this time it is mainly through the absorption of the surrounding.  Over time the constant repetition of what is right and what is wrong, through the guidance of the elders and the circumstances, and a system of reward and punishment meted out by the elders, teachers and well-wishers along with the teaching structure consisting of a vast number of institutions and the laws laid down,  make us walk on  the well-trodden road laid down by the past generations .The new and the young walk on and thus life creates the do’s and the don’ts that are further strengthened by both learning and experience and the reactions from the society that has been  following it for a long time with a few changes of and on.
Hence the development of the value systems that seem to change for every generation depending on the changing social systems, the requirements of the society that are dictated by the scientific revolutions and the constant fluctuation of the economic status and the everchanging shifting of the power nexus that go  in the making of the life of an individual , who is mainly driven by his  or her immediate environment that is essentially created by him by his or her thought processes, and the action and the reaction that go in the making  of each individual experience special and unique.
Having said that yet there are two aspects of life i.e. positive and negative. Learning and academics are constantly stressing on the positive and side tracking the negative. This constant focusing on the positive alone and teachings that are constantly stressing on the good and trying to raise man to walk on the higher path is not always successful. We need to know how the negative affects us and how it can be debilitating and degrade our very lives.

For this we have to first understand what negative really means. Man has always tried to run away from the negative in their lives. The reasons for this are many. Being weak in nature and ridden by fear one prefers to avoid the negative as it results in pain or loss. Further it makes one uncomfortable and leaves a bad taste in the mouth. The other part is the facing of these negative situations requires a lot of effort and energy which especially in modern times is shunned due to weakness of both the mind and the body. This means that the individual is seeking the easy way out. Even gains are sought after by trying to find the easy path. This ends up in making compromises and making decision that can only harm the quality of our life. Further when wealth or money is factored in, matters become even worse.
Then we can pose the question whether negative is really negative, in the sense does it have only the function of destroying our life. Has history made a monster of the negativity to the extent that we are unable to learn from it because we are constantly hounded by do ‘this’ or ‘don’t do that’, or this is right way to live, these value systems will help your life to be better etc.
All this has made us afraid of negative situations, they give us tension to the extent that they lead to diseases and make cowards out of us and thus we are unable to find solutions and end up running our entire life.
What I am trying to say to all the good people that want to bask in the sunshine of goodness is that learning just by the committing of good acts or surrounding ourselves only by the good and godly or ignoring the bad or the negative is going to limit your growth and you may never reach your full potential.
Life is not just all about ‘what to do’, its more about ‘what not to do’. It’s the faster way to learn and will help you grow. Of course, this means that one will have to develop two things…observation powers and the ability to analyze the situation in its own light…in other words discrimination and objective analysis. Agreed! …not an easy task especially for the sensitive and the emotional.
Thus, the best way to do this is by starting small. Of course, there will always be surprises as life is wont to do. But as one practices more it will become easier. Allow the negativity to come in…… it may not be directly related to you, it may be just a part of your space……observe it, see its result, analyze it, consider its consequences and learn. If it relates to you directly the best possible course  would be to take the bull by the horns, but not rush it…see what it contains and try the best solution at that moment…be aware that solutions change as the moment changes, for every moment will bring in a new set of permutations and combinations as the situations in flux due to the many shifting variables …this is life and not a theory and everything has to be dealt with at once and in that moment…you cannot think ahead, for the next moment will bring new circumstances and another path …if you do not take the decision then to face and arrive at the solution, the process will continue and will in effect lead nowhere and you will get frozen in your own vicious circle of indecision .  
If the negative is just in your space but not touching, you will get a chance to observe and learn.
All on all it is not such a bad thing to have the negative in terms of people, places and situations in your life. I’m not saying that a deliberate attempt should be made to invite it…all I am saying is that if you come across it or it is being deliberately aimed at you despite the fact that you are trying to live peacefully without creating trouble…for trouble will find you whether you are involved or not, whether you are concerned with it or not…for that is a fact of life…someone or something will disturb you, take pleasure in creating problems for you and , say wrong things, spread rumors, irk you in every way possible and try to get a rise out of you…and the funny thing is that strangers will do that as much as your friends…known and unknown people will endanger you, or raise a ruckus and force you to defend yourself.
So, what can you do? Are you going to run all your life? Let everyone take you for a ride? Let the strong make you cower and take advantage of you. Watch… see the results of all the negative actions and situations…you know what ….you will soon develop the skill to defend yourself. You will be able to project scenarios and make the strategies. Above all it will teach you what not to do or how not to be. One can learn by watching the people while they are being negative and learn from the result of their actions …how not to and what not to do. This in itself will enhance you and you will be able to take the right decisions in your life that will be pragmatic, full of discrimination and without catering to likes or dislikes or impulsiveness.
So, I say do not run away from the negativity around you…after all in this dualistic world where opposites prevail the ying-yang factor will always be a part of life and where one exists the other will surely be there. The trick is in balancing out and understanding life from both angles thus doubling your experience and learning and progressing that much faster.
Thus, in a way, negativity that comes into your space or around you is more of a supporting factor that helps you to become a better person just because the consequences are seen and one doesn’t want them in your life. The lessons are better learnt and mistakes are not repeated and resistance disappears…so deal with it I say and get on with it as life can only be better and it will leave you stronger in will and more able.
Published inMentoring

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